Plodding it out

212 miles to go. Today is the second day that I just wanted to espy a Enterprise Rent-a-car and drive the remainder of the way. The scenery is nothing special, I’ve chosen to ride the shoulder of hwy 90, which is  a  fairly straight shot to Jacksonville. It’s what I needed to do to get this done within the remaining time.

There is another touring cyclist, heading east closeby. We kept thinking he would catch up and we could companion for a couple days, but he’s got some chafing issues and I hate to say it, but with the funk I’m in, I might be bad company.  A good companion would be great for pulling me out of the funk also, but there are only 4 days left….. if I do 50/day. Today, I’d hoped to do 70, but it’s been dreary and rainy off and on. My motel last night was one of those hideous dives that used to be a cute strip of motel rooms build around a central pool and cafe. It’s not that now. There were bugs crawling the walls, no doorknob on the bathroom door, but a washcloth stuffed into it and an industrial double paper roll hanging lopsidedly off the wall in the bathroom. I’m wondering if I’ll get home only to find I’ve got some tiny inhabitants living on my body from some of these awful motels.

Sorry, off that subject. This afternoon I’m in a small privately-owned strip motel that caters to sportsmen. It’s actually clean and very acceptable. A good book and a cup of coffee will keep me company as I wile away the afternoon.

Wish there were some fun things to tell ya, but I’m just cycling this one out because, if you remember, this all began a year ago, tomorrow. I left home, thinking I’d be on the road almost entirely for one year to memorialize my grand-fathers and to honor my Dad. As you know, it’s turned into a memorial to all 3 of them. I must finish it. Though it’s no longer fun and that’s the reason I tour. It seems that it would be wrong somehow to quit on this after missing Dad’s last few days and hours because I was here. After missing his memorial service. How could I come home now, without finishing?

Four days. Hopefully, no more of them will be downers like today. Setting my sights at 70 miles for today may have been a set-up for discouragement. It made me feel like this is about pushing things, about something other than enjoying the sight-seeing. I’d even like to find a cute shop or two and spend some time shopping. Anything but listening to the traffic whiz by, stopping every 10 miles for another sweet tea, living off cheez-its and franchise salads and fried foods.

Home is looking soooo good. I want to see my husband/best friend. I want to hug my kids and get hugs back. My step-mom needs hugs, and someone to help her sort through Dad’s stuff and help her forget that she is alone right now. I feel like I’m in the wrong place.

Tomorrow will be better.

Please keep me in your prayers for a more cheerful outlook for the next 4 days!

Hope you’re all faring better.